"A strong relationship requires choosing to love each other even in those moments when you struggle to like each other." -Pinterest. (Where else haha)

LONG, HONEST AND SERIOUS POST ALERT!!!

I've been reading up a lot on relationship building lately. Last weekend was a real eye opener for how lucky I really am. A friend I work with was having relationship issues, and it brought back memories of when Tim and I broke up twice a couple years into our relationship and how far we've come since then. Tim and I have our differences. We come from completely different backgrounds, have different beliefs, different tastes in a lot of things, and are really the epitome of opposites attract. And it's worked for us for 10+ years.

There are things he does that annoy me and things I do that annoy him. Probably one or two weeks out of the month, I'm relatively normal. I'm able to think clearly about everything, and we always have a ton of fun. After that, my body goes through mood swing after mood swing. I literally will get mad at Tim for waking up earlier than he's "supposed" to because then I don't have as much time to myself in the morning and then later cry over having to take laundry out of the dryer again. Or be annoyed when he tells me I look "fine" for the fiftieth time rather than "beautiful" or if he doesn't help me make dinner. It's such dumb stuff. I get so frustrated with him, so then I (BAD IDEA) start comparing our relationship with others online. Before I know it, I am so mad about everything, I just want to cry and travel. That's always my thought, that I wish I was traveling. Why does he put up with me? Would I put up with someone like me? I don't think so. But he loves me (and he's suuuuuuper patient). I'm sure he's thought about what it would be like if we weren't married at some point in our relationship. I think every spouse has thought that. Have you? I thankfully come to the same conclusion every time: Would I want to live without his snoring, his extreme pervertedness, his nicknames that he so lovingly came up with for me, his constant butt and boob grabs, his obsession of video games, his sweaty clothes after drumming for a couple hours, his introversion and necessity of being at home a lot, his dislike of seafood and most vegetables...etc.???

Absolutely not. Because then I wouldn't get to live my life with the most caring, hard working, funny, handsome, and talented husband, friend, and lover.

Why is it so hard sometimes to see good? It's something I've really been working hard on lately, actually putting thought into our relationship. I can honestly say that if you work on these few things like I did, your relationship will get better; and even if you think your relationship is great, try these things and make it even better:

1. I've been putting myself in his shoes. It has made me realize that everything he does working those long days is for us. Tim constantly thinks about how to better our lives and always tries to better himself in his job and his hobbies. I'm working on being a more interested wife: to seriously listen to what he's talking about, even if it's about drumming or computer stuff or video games and it's over my head. I've been trying to understand and remember. What he's telling me is important to him, so it should be important to me, and I should remember it. I also shouldn't be thinking about the many lists of things to do in my head while he's talking to me. Big relationship changer. Listen to your spouse!
2. I've put more thought into the romantic part of our relationship. I read this somewhere recently, probably Pinterest, but it said something about how you are the only woman your husband gets to see naked. So let him see you naked! He'll love you no matter what. He doesn't care if you're feeling bloated or you have a pimple on your face or your roots are starting to show. Add a little spice! Change it up! This may be hard to do if your confidence level isn't super high but try to remember that your husband loves seeing you naked and anything extra you add will just make him want you more. And more often. Just sayin'.
3. Be the first to say "I'm sorry". Forgive first. Now, I'm not saying I'm the one to blame for every issue in our relationship, there are things Tim also needs to work on; however, I believe if I work on my part, our whole relationship will become better, Tim will be happier, and he'll also want to work on our relationship. We recently took the Five Love Languages quiz, and I highly recommend it for any relationship to see what your significant other's needs are like and how you can help meet them.
4. Stop nagging, start praying. Back when Tim and I first met, everything about him made me happy. Even the things that weren't so likable, I didn't care, I was willing to look past it because I was so in love. Why then, when love evolves after so many years, do we think it's easier to nag our spouse into changing rather than just accept them for who they are? We have flaws. And again, this is something I really have to work on. But stop trying to change him, and love him instead. I'm going to start praying for him during those times when I'd prefer to nag him. Not, "Oh God, please help Tim start putting his laundry away", but "God, thank you for my husband", and start that way. It is so important in a relationship to extend grace for those minor annoyances, and I've found it helps me to I calm down when I start to pray.

Marriage isn't 50/50, it's 100/100. You have to give your everything in your marriage. It takes hard work, and it isn't always fun. But it's worth it. It's so worth it.

 Today was going to be my seventh day in a row of working out. So I didn't. Instead, I woke up at 6am without my alarm clock, read a few blogs, pinned a few things, and made the simplest of breakfasts: yogurt with a crap load of fruit, bread with avocado and tomatoes, and green tea. 

I even partially closed our living room doors (see the kitty peeking through?!), have my all-time favorite candle burning (they don't make it anymore! I've had it for over five years, burning an hour at a time), my favorite's on Spotify playing, and Tim is still sleeping. The sun is actually shining (visibly, because it's technically always shining :D), birds are chirping, our cat is at the window watching them, and Tim and I have fun plans for today. 

Our windows will be cleaned, just as soon as it's warm enough outside, FYI. Just keepin' it real ;)

Every five years or so, Tim likes to add more color to his outfits. This is the year. He recently purchased a super cool belt from Huckberry, as well as a smart watch that's red. It's crazy, he's so great at picking out things for himself, but he has such self control (or really doesn't have the urge whatsoever...I believe that's it) the rest of the years to rarely buy clothes.

We're going to Traverse City today to get him a couple shirts for work that don't have holes in the elbows and some pants that actually fit him. I have a few things on my list, like for example I need new work pants and a black shirt; however, they're not falling apart quite yet, and I'm really trying to save money, so I think the only thing I'll really be looking for is a spring jacket. Something waterproof with a hood. And preferably under $50. We'll see how I do!

We have a gift card to Cracker Barrel that we got about a year ago, so we'll finally put that to use. I just love how cozy it is there :) Hope you find something today that makes you smile. Have a great weekend!

Splat Hair Dye

This is my brother, Benjamin. He had been asking me for a few weeks to dye part of his hair green. Now I dye my hair dark brown, I've never bleached hair before. It was FUN! We used Splat's hair dye in Neon Green.

 I could've stopped here. This was right after the bleaching part was done. His hair was SO silky smooth and such a pretty blonde. Maybe for summer. And yes, our cat box is in our kitchen. We've lived here for a couple years now and still don't know where to put it...

 This is after the first time I dyed it with the green. It was very light. Now Benjamin's got light blonde hair to begin with, so I'm sure everyone who dyes their hair with this color will need to do at least one more 1/2 hour of dye. Even then it's not a "neon" green. Which was fine with us, it turned out an almost turquoise color but also can look either more blue or more green depending on the lighting. They should definitely change the name and pictures on the box though.

 I told Benjamin he should definitely wear a different shirt with this hair dye because it was super clashing haha.

  

 Nowhere near neon green. I don't know how anyone would get neon green with this color. Thankfully Benjamin loved this color, and I love it too :)

We were not paid for this review, just my honest opinion :)

Welp...Tim had a terrible reaction to the anesthesia when he got his wisdom teeth out last Thursday. He was sick (throwing up) for the first day, then has just been in terrible pain ever since. Today marks the fifth day. He finally ate something other than mini ravioli and applesauce yesterday for dinner but ended up being in pain because of it. We had him see my boss on Monday, and no dry socket, just painful healing. I also had a side effect of being on amoxicillin for over 5 days due to my strep throat, so I've pretty much been laying on the floor for the past few days.

Valentine's Day came and went. I bought us each a bar of chocolate. Tim was able to eat a couple pieces. As soon as he's healed up, we're going to go away for the day and eat pizza and a burger :)

A friend from work knew the majority of everything going on. When I got to work Monday, she gave me this calendar and note:

Somedays you have to create your own sunshine. Other times, God brings it to you <3.

Saving money, pulling wisdom teeth, and reading books

These next few weeks are all about saving money for me. I've been working really hard to put any extra money towards paying off my two credit cards (they're really not that high of balances, I just hate debt). I will have them paid off within two months. Honestly, my issue with spending money is at the grocery store! I know we've got enough food to last us for well more than two weeks, we've just gotten so used to eating what we're craving that day rather than what's in the house. I need to get us back to when we used to only spend $50 (max $75) on groceries each week. How the heck did we used to do that?! I seriously just spent $200 on groceries. For TWO people. Granted, it included some medications and popsicles, but still. $200...yikes.

My next paycheck is going to be minus 2 1/2 days though...I sprained my finger (while seriously taking my pants off. Yup. Darn straight legged jeans.) and went to the doctor for 1/2 day to get it x-rayed, then the other two days are due to Tim. He's had a lot of chest pain lately, so his doctor ordered a bunch of tests and we went up to Traverse City last week for the day, then this coming Thursday, he's getting all of his wisdom teeth out....good grief, I swear our family is falling apart. Oh, and I had strep throat this weekend as well. Thank goodness we decided to pay more this year for the better option of insurance! This whole past weekend was spent on the couch. And in the tub. I felt awful. I definitely watched my share of movies!

This was my view while watching "The Second Best Exotic Marigold Hotel" haha. I think kitty was wishing she could dance during this part. Excellent movie, so is the first one! 

Gesine Bullock-Prado's recipe for scones I made since I had heavy cream that was expired...I tried experimenting with adding blueberries and raspberries which you can see are the ones on the right-Note to self: don't try to make a recipe better that's already great :)

I'm working on creating a menu for Valentine's Day for us, and so far I have mashed potatoes and pudding haha-I probably picked the worst weekend for him to get his wisdom teeth taken out :)

I've read two books this past week. And it feels awesome. The first was a recommendation by a coworker, "Room", by Emma Donoghue. I'm sure you've seen the trailer for the movie; but if not, it's about a woman who gets kidnapped at 19 and is held in the guy's storage shed in his backyard for 7 years. She has a son, and this story is told from his perspective, at the age of 5. I took this book with me to the hospital last Thursday and finished it that night. It was excellent.

The second book I started after work yesterday and did not move off the couch until I finished it at 11pm, "Me Before You", by Jojo Moyes. I had seen the trailer for this last weekend; and when I saw it was a book,  immediately put it on hold at the library. I got the email notification that it was in right after work yesterday and immediately went to get it. Ugh, what a GREAT book. I definitely cried. This is about a 26-year-old girl who just lost her job, and ends up getting a job caring for a 35-year-old quadriplegic. She lives an ordinary life, and he used to live life to the extreme but now cannot. After working for him for awhile, she secretly learns that he has decided that he wants to die in 6 months, so she sets out to show him that life is still worth living. Seriously a great book. And I just found out there's a second book! I'm sure it won't be as good as the first book, but there's nothing better than actually being able to read how your favorite character's are doing after. When I like a book, I normally just buy it immediately off of Amazon, but since I'm trying to save money, I put it on hold at the library instead. Honestly, it's kind of fun waiting in anticipation for it!

One more day of work, then Tim's teeth are coming out. I have to drive him back home because he'll have been put to sleep, so I'm having another 4-day weekend! Hopefully I'll be feeling good enough to start working out each day again. I'm also going to write up our menu for the next couple of weeks and clean out my closet. And probably pin a lot to Pinterest. Hope you have a great day!